If They Didn't Understand, Your Assumptions are Wrong!
If you and I are looking at the same object, I assume that you are seeing the same thing that I am. You assume the same. But really, we have no evidence for this at all. This is not idle philosophy: our perceptual systems are not linked. Our eyes, sensory cortices, memories are completely distinct from one another. We assume a stable external reality (Western scientific tradition for instance takes that assumption as a starting point), but that is an assumption and not a demonstrable fact. Of course if that assumption were completely wrong, then we would never have developed the impression that there is such an external reality at all, either individually or as a species. There has to be some validity to the idea of objective reality! But it remains the case that our perceptions, experiences and memories are, and forever remain, locked inside our own heads, and we have no direct access to anyone else's... That's a little scary if you ponder it a moment, eh...
LANGUAGE BRIDGES
But, as a species, we have developed different solutions to this problem – ways of (almost) bridging the gaps that separate our inner worlds – the most complex and developed of which is language.
And we are so enamoured of our language bridges – so addicted to the intoxicating illusion of sharing meaning – that we easily and almost constantly lose sight of the fact that the language we use is just a shadowy reflection of our own internal world, which is all we can know.
Like the picture of the Sydney Harbour Bridge under construction above, in fact these "language bridges" never quite meet... Language is a code that we all agree upon (more or less), and use to broadcast aspects of our inner realities. But when we listen to someone else's words, we are not seeing their inner world, we are allowing their words to evoke elements of our own inner reality. And when we talk, we are not passing chunks of meaning, we are evoking and highlighting elements of the inner world of our listener... a world we will never see, and can never know. I like the image of the unfinished Harbour Bridge: its two arms are pretty much the same shape, serve the same purpose, but don't quite meet. The image is a perfect metaphor for what I am talking about here.
Failing to appreciate this – believing that language somehow connects directly to something in the real world, and that therefore a person who understands a word you use is themselves connecting with exactly the same external reality as you did in using the word – is a dangerous myth.
And if this sounds like hi-falutin' philosophical mumbo-jumbo that has no bearing on the next quarterly report, think again.
Question: How often do you use language in your daily affairs? (Answer: constantly).
Question: How often are you therefore directly subject to the effects of this erroneous assumption? (Answer: constantly).
Crucial question: So what? (Answer below)
WHAT'S THE REAL PROBLEM?
The effect of this is to think that "communication" has occurred as soon as the right words have been fired in the direction of the receiver (report submitted, email sent, speech presented)... This assumes that everybody understands (or should understand) the same thing from a given word or expression, and this is simply not true! Words attach to our internal realities, and our internal realities are disconnected from one another - incommensurable.
Most of the responsibility for understanding a message therefore lies not with the receiver (reader/listener), as we are traditionally led to believe, but with the sender (speaker/writer). The receiver needs to be attentive as well, clearly, and has their part in the effectiveness of the communication, but most communication failure occurs at the level of the sender's assumptions rather than – as is often assumed – further down the communicative path. #HumanCommunication is (at least) a two-way process. It involves not only broadcast, but also reception: listening (actively) to feedback, checking that the idea that has been seeded is indeed the one intended!
"OH, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!"
No? Make time! Stubbornly refusing to acknowledge this demonstrable psycholinguistic fact will not make it go away. One-way "communication" is not communication at all, and if that is the dynamic upon which your internal business communications are built, you are heading for a wall, or more likely, already pushing uselessly against it!
Good #HumanCommunication skills massively improve employee engagement, encouraging innovation and dynamism, fostering collaboration and maximising productivity. These are the constituent elements of business success. You don’t have time for success?… Really? Well, I’m glad I’m not on your team…